The Return of Sparda
by usdragonmaster
Summary: What if Naruto was really Dante, son of Sparda. Read as Dante fight Demons, get laid and deal with other problems.rated M for Lemons


I do not own anything except my ideas.

**Chapter 1**

'Man, stealing the Scroll of Sealing was easier than I thought' thought Naruto as he sat down in the clearing. He unrolled the scroll and found a strange seal. Naruto realized that this was a blood seal because that was the only that he was good at during his academy years. Curious, Naruto cut his thumb and spread the blood over the seal. Then a bright light developed Naruto. When Naruto opened his eyes, he saw a man in a purple Victorian outfit with a white cravat and a monocle over his left eye.

"Were you the one who activated the seal?" asked the man. Naruto just nodded his head. "Okay then" said the man as he placed his hand on Naruto's forehead. Naruto screamed out in pain as images rushed through his head and his appearence changed. his hair became white and smoothed out. his outfit changed into a black, 3/4-length, hooded leather jacket with red interior linings and the Konoha symbol sewn on the left arm, a gray tanktop, black fingerless gloves, black faded jeans, and black military boots. then a sword with a skeletal guard and 2 strange L-shaped pieces of metal appeared on his back and in his jacket. "Dante, it's good to see you again"

"Hey, old man, how do I get out of here?" asked the newly named Dante.

"You are already leaving" said the man as the same light began to build up. "Good luck, my son"

**1 HOUR LATER**

"Who are you and what have you done with Naruto?"

"Iruka, I'm Naruto, the true Naruto. By the way, the name's not Naruto, it's Dante" said Dante

"Great job,... who is he?" asked Mizuki.

"The name's Dante and this will be the last face you ever see" said Dante as he shot bullet after bullet into Mizuki's chest. Then several beasts appeared. They looked like cherubs with shields and the others looked human but had chainsawes for hands. "Iruka, get yourself to safety. These are demons from Hell. Your weapons won't even scratch them. Just leave this to me. Let's rock" said Dante as he leapt forward and started to slash and shoot them. Iruka looked on in amazement that the dead last was killing these things with such ease and without getting a drop of blood on his weapons or outfit. "Come on, Iruka, we should tell the Hokage"

**AT HOKAGE OFFICE**

"The Hokage is too busy at the moment" said the secretary.

"Tell him it involve Naruto Uzumaki"

"Let them in" said the Hokage over the intercom. Dante and Iruka walked into the room, but Dante was quickly stopped by Anbu guards. Dante just placed his hands in his coat pocket and felt 2 scrolls. He pulled them out and saw that one said sundae and the other said pizza. He placed the sundae one in his pocket and bearly unrolled the other one and poured his chakra into it.(cue smoke)When the smoke cleared, Dante was sitting in a chair eating the pizza out of a cardboard box.

"Iruka, can you explain it to him" said Dante as everyone except Dante turned to look at Iruka.

**ONE EXPLANATION LATER**

"So he's Naruto" said the Hokage

"Yes, Lord Hokage" said Iruka as the Hokage turned to face Dante.

"If you are Naruto, tell me something only he would know" said the Hokage

"You keep an Icha Icha paradise hidden in your sleeve" said Dante as the Hokage's face turned a bright red

"Okay, he's Naruto. So, Iruka, what should we do about the issue at hand?"

"Well, after seeing him in battle, I think that we should make him Jounin" said Iruka.

"Why not ANBU?" asked the Hokage

"Because there is no way in hell, you can put a damn mask on my face" said Dante.

"Okay, report back here to get your genin squad" said the Hokage.

"By the way, name's Dante now" said Dante as he leapt out of the window. The Hokage just chuckled and dismissed Iruka before going back into battle with the most feared enemy of all Kages; paperwork. As he sat down and saw a note on the stack of paper. He flipped it over and read it. 'Why don't you use the Shadow Clone Jutsu to help you with the paperwork'. The Hokage saying stupid and banging his head against the wall could be heard all over the village.

Who will Dante get? Will they pass his test? Why am I asking you question when I already have the answers? Find out next time on Total ... Drama ... Fuck, it's my worst enemy, Lawers. See ya after the Fourth of July. Some of us have a life to live. 


End file.
